In other words, I'm Lame

So much to post about, so little time! I'll be back soon with a bona fide post, I promise :)

Just give me a burlap bag

Bathing suit shopping was so much fun before I had a kid.

Now, post-kid, it is torture.

I did manage to find 2 suits that I think look pretty decent. We shall see if they pass the husband test tonight.

Why don't they make decent suits for post-nursing boobs?? I mean, I am able to find bras that fit, but not bikini tops? What gives? Is there a secret, awesome swimsuit store out there for moms?

Mantras

Yesterday I was driving home from the grocery store, and was just thinking about random things. Then I caught myself thinking, and started repeating one of my mantras. Then I realized that I haven't done that in a long time, because I haven't needed to do that in a long time.

I started "waking up" in 2000. At that time I, like most people, had many thoughts going through my head all the time, and had a hard time stilling my mind. Many of those thoughts were not so positive, or were very ego based, or were a lot about judgment (of myself and others). I remember reading about meditation, and the work needed to still your mind of these thoughts. I think it was something about your thoughts being like "a drunken monkey" going all over the place, I'm not sure if I'm remembering that right. In order to help calm the monkey, mantras were suggested.

So I made up my own mantras, and would recite them in my head whenever I found myself thinking thoughts that were not in my best interest. I had to make them up because simply repeating "Om... Om, om, om" was a sure-fire way of quickly getting bored and jumping back onto the drunken monkey track.

One of my mantras was "beauty before me, beauty behind me, beauty around me, beauty within me." This was simple enough, yet just complicated enough that my mind would have to actively be involved in the mantra in order to keep repeating it correctly -- in other words there was no way I could say the mantra correctly, over and over, AND let the drunken monkey dance about.

Another mantra that I enjoyed that was especially helpful when I was feeling down is "breathe with me, live with me, birth with me, die with me" and sometimes I would add other variations to mix it all up like adding "love with me, laugh with me" etc. It would always help me feel better, and stop that damn monkey.

So back to driving yesterday -- I realized that I had not said any of these mantras for a long time, because the monkey rarely comes out to drink and dance anymore. And that is a very good thing.

New Earth

It took me 4 months, but I finally finished reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I have to say, the beginning of the book was hard for me to get through, not because it was boring, but because the concepts were too basic for me. But I'm really glad I stuck with it because the further along I went into the book, the more it resonated with me, and by the end I was getting some really good information that has only served to expand my awareness and help me increase my vibrational state.

This is an exciting time. I see such a duality in the world right now -- economic troubles, environmental disaster, crazy egoic dysfunctions *cough* Bush *cough*, unhealthy states of being and doing, etc. It is enough to tie anyone's stomach into knots. But at the same time I see a huge glimmer of hope, lights at the end of the tunnel. So many people are waking up in various ways and individual points of light are becoming brighter and brighter in this world. Pretty soon it will be enough to light up the whole world that is right now looking rather dark. It is something that I can feel in the core of my being, and I know others feel it, too.

So I am feeling really positive and good right now, but am not this way 100% of the time, although I am more often than not. Of course, it is after my period, and I'm always happy-go-lucky after my period, and then more withdrawn and darker before. Such are the cycles of life, the waxing and waning.

I don't really have a point to this post. Just putting some of my thoughts out there.

Dishwasher Saga

Amazing how one appliance can cause so much drama. The dishwasher has pretty much been broken since July of this year, and we've had a lovely time handwashing dishes on and off for the past 4 months. It broke just 2 months prior to the 2 year installation date, and I have had 5 service calls to try and figure out what is wrong with it and repair it. Different things have been tried, but none of them has solved the problem. The final straw was when water flooded my kitchen floor and I discovered black mold growing inside, even right after running it through a cycle. *shudder*

In October I called the manufacturing company to see if they would give me more assistance. Denied. Only they never called to tell me that.

So last Saturday, after nearly 5 weeks straight of handwashing dishes, I finally went and purchased a new dishwasher. The options (all 2 of them) sucked because they were more than I wanted to spend and I was restricted because of height issues. Apparently I have a shorter-than-normal dishwasher and not a standard size, I think because of it having to fit underneath a kitchen counter. Because it is not a standard size, it is more expensive. Which seems completely backwards -- you build a smaller dishwasher and you charge more for it? Whatever. As of this afternoon I finally have a brand-new working dishwasher. I saved all of today's dishes and promptly loaded and ran it as soon as it was ready. Ahhh. I was even excited to unload it once it was finished.

But even with a new dishwasher, this is not over. I called the manufacturing company again to ask them to consider helping me out fiancially since the dishwasher shouldn't need to be replaced after just 2 years. They were totally blase, and gave me the "too bad, so sad" spiel. Grrr. Even the interpreter who interpreted my call was totally shocked at the horrible customer service I (didn't) receive.

So after I hung up, I promptly went online to the Better Business Bureau and filed a complaint. Cuz I'm $950 in the hole from service repairs and a new appliance. We'll see what happens!